Nothing More to Lose
by xxredemption-love-and-liesxx
Summary: Why does a man's loved ones always die? Can't he be happy for once? / [Zervis], [oneshot], [set after 450]


**Nothing More to Lose**  
xxredemption-love-and-liesxx

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 _Finally, finally_. He had something. Something that would keep him going.

He leaned closer, holding her face in between his hands. Her skin was so smooth. He could pick up her scent as well, and it was something sweet. Dark eyes lowered as he watched her eyes close, and her lips open slightly. He dropped his head, meeting her lips.

His inky eyes slid shut as he felt her lips against his. So, so soft. Her warm lips moved gently against his as he pulled her close, allowing himself to lose himself in her warm. She was hugging tightly onto him, keeping his larger body close. However, he felt her hand slip, sliding down his back before dropping completely.

Her lips stopped moving and he pulled away hesitantly, looking at her face. He clutched her close, his tears still dripping down his face at a fast pace.

He only held her below the mid of her back, so she fell backwards. He held her up still, making sure that she did not fall completely. His body shook as he bit down on his lower lip.

 _How?_ He lowered her gently, and placed his fingers beneath her nose. _Nothing_. He lowered his fingers to her neck, feeling for a pulse. _N—No_.

"Mavis—please, open your eyes—please," his voice was not even recognisable to himself. "Mavis—don't leave me, not like _this_! Not after I finally—" he choked and pulled himself away, holding his head.

Why does everything end up like this? Why do all his loved ones perish into nothing? _Why me_? His other hand was holding onto the white material of his clothing, clutching down against it. His pale skin was turning paler with the pressure he was exerting. He lost her… He lost someone important again—why the _hell_ did the world hate him so?

The dark mage let out a strangled scream, pulling himself away completely, almost into the foetal position. He was shaking like he was cold. But no, it was anger and sadness and self-hate. _I killed her_. His curse… why had his curse caused her to die? They were the same, were they not?

So _why_?

It made no sense. He had studied this curse, and he knew it like the back of his hand. He was _immortal_ ; nothing killed him, not even the demons in his book. He growled to himself, lifting his hand to claw at his head. Dark eyes turned into the haunting crimson, allowing his alter personality to take over.

Still, even _that_ personality had fell for her… had began to love her. So… he could only feel pain. His dark red eyes lowered onto her as he dropped his hands. _Maybe… I can… What else do I have to lose?_ He hesitated. _But… what if…_ He shook his head. His eyes returned to black once more. _I can't._ She is free, unlike him.

She did nothing wrong, really. She was trying to save her loved ones… while what did he do? He tried to bring them back. It was a taboo what he did. No wonder he got the curse. He understood that now. While his punishment _had_ lasted for centuries, perhaps he had to suffer more—without her by his side. Or… he could try and find a way to kill himself, something _had_ to be able to be done, right?

 _Would we meet again, Mavis_? He questioned himself, dropping down beside her again. Gently lifting her tiny body, he pulled her cold body against his chest. He frowned. What _had_ he been thinking? He should have known he would not be able to care… if he—but then again, she was free of this curse, so that was a good thing, right? He preferred himself, already, to go through centuries of the horrors of this ugly curse then her; someone so pure.

She did nothing wrong. Nothing.

Yet she was cursed, like he. No, no… she _was_ cursed like him. But she was free.

Perhaps, he could never have anything ever again. Never. Freedom was something he could never have; he could never love anyone and not have them die on him. It was fucked up, but he knew it. He knew it now. Even someone with the same dastardly curse would fall victim to his… well, _love_.

 _Magic is a curse…_ He felt himself think. It was. It brought happiness, sure. But sadness was definitely there. Things would be easier if it did not even _exist_ , so much easier.

The power had taken his younger brother, Natsu, at such a young age. And now, a curse had taken away the only thing he had _allowed_ himself to love. The world rejected him. It would always be the case. He could not believe that, even for a second, he believed Mavis' words. He should have known better. He was intelligent; he _knew_ what was true.

Crimson developed once more. _She tricked me, so she could free herself! That's all—_ he stopped himself thinking those thoughts. _No… she wouldn't, Mavis is too kind. She wouldn't… besides, she would never have known—like me._ He held her close to his chest as they continued thinking to himself.

He had to figure this out; perhaps he could find someone who had the same curse? No, that would just possibly risk the chance of _them_ dying. He did not want to be responsible for any more deaths. Though… no doubt he would be unable to stop the dark energy from springing forth.

His thoughts trailed off as he did not come up with a solution. If he could just make _something_ that could kill him— _What_? He stopped in his tracks, still carrying the young girl. His eyes narrowed. _Maybe, just maybe… Nii-san…_ It was such a stupid thought, such a stupid thought. But what else did he have to lose—it was not like the gods could give him anymore grief, after all, he has lost _everything_ now, and he was simply a dead man walking. Perhaps, perhaps if he could bring his brother back… he could bring _her_ back. It would not be such a bad idea, and then she would be able to live her life once more; to be able to be with her guild. No doubt that would make her feel happy. As for his brother, he could also _live_.

However, before he could even _begin_ to do what he wished, he would need to put her body somewhere. Seal her away… He knew of a spell that would last, but there were a few… side effects. His eyes narrowed. _I have to do this. I need to die, and I… need to pay_ _ **her**_ _back for her kindness…_

Finally sorting out what he _will_ do, he headed towards a location he had heard of which would be best to put his plans into notion.

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 _fin_

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 **Author's notes**  
Uhm, yeah. I don't write Zeref. Like, I've never written him. He's a very complex character… I've kind of assumed that he has two personalities, as we saw in 450. I dunno… haha. I don't know how to feel about this, but eh. I hope it was, okay. While I have been reading Fairy Tail, there is still a lot of things I don't understand, so I apologize for any and all mistakes plot wise as well as grammar wise.

Hm… I like Zeref as a character, so I may write some more in the future on him—when I can.


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